Princess Wars
by Silver Espeon
Summary: The women of Super Smash Bros are in a reality TV show to become the next Princess of Hyrule. How far will these ladies go for fame and fortune? [Updated weekly, sometimes daily]
1. Introduction

**Aerial shot of Hyrule castle**

Announcer: "Welcome to Hyrule! A place of magic and prosperity! A glowing beacon of world progress. I'm your host, Meta Knight, and join us as we take you through the daily lives of the women from Super Smash Bros."

 **Interview with Zelda**

"My name is Zelda. I'm the princess of Hyrule and fighter in the Super Smash Bros tournament. I have everything I've always wanted and more. If these girls think they can take my spot away, they're in for a world of hurt!" Zelda made an evil angry expression then become cheerful the next second. "I treat everyone with respect."

 **Interview with Peach**

"My name is Peach Toadstool, princess of the mushroom kingdom. You may be inclined to believe that my boyfriend is more popular but I'm just as popular. I even starred in my own game. People even make fanart of me. Here, look at this one!" Peach pulled out a lewd picture of herself in a bikini. "Peach I think that's more demeaning to your image than it is helpful." said Samus from across the room. "Oh Samus. She's been away from Earth for so long, she doesn't know what true love is."

 **Interview with Samus**

"I'm Samus Aran, bounty hunter. Unlike these women, I have actual experience fighting. I most often serve as the mediator of the group to keep the peace. These women haven't had a challenging day in their life. They've been raised by their rich parents with a silver spoon in their mouths. When they do come across hardships they cry and whine about how life doesn't treat them fair. I think I would make an excellent candidate for the princess of Hyrule."

 **Interview with Rosalina**

"My name is Rosalina, overseer of the Planet Observatory and the cosmos. Even though I am not from this planet I am honored to be a participant on this program. I do hope to make friends with the other women here."

 **Interview with Palutena in Skyworld**

"I am Palutena, the goddess of Skyworld. Even though the affairs of Earth don't apply to me, I received an invitation to be on the televised program. I was going to reject until I found out that my female cohorts from the tournament would be there as well. At that announcement, I was overjoyed to participate. However, when I found out it would be only women, I was mildly concerned. But that has no bearing on my enjoyment. I wish everyone the best."

 **Interview with Daisy**

"Hey everyone! My name's Daisy. Though you probably already knew that. I'm that hard hitting, goal striking, five time winner of the Dreamland baking contest, princess of the Sarasaland kingdom! I've been on the cover of Hyrule weekly, Mushroom inquirer, and the Kanto sun times. However, it wasn't always this way. It took a lot of time to get where I am now."

 _Flashback_

"Luigi, who is going to go meet with little Timmy's teacher?! You're out of a job, I'm taking care of three kids, and I work 9-9!" Daisy held in both of her arms two crying babies. Luigi sat in a chair with a bottle in his hand. "Go tell Mario." "You can't rely on your brother for everything! Also, who's going to pay the insurance!? Insurance rates rose by 50% this past weekend! Ugh, you're no help at all! I'm leaving and taking the kids!" Luigi rose up from his seat and went on his knees pleading, "Wait! Don't go! You're all I have left in this world!" "Oh give me a break! Screw you and your failed ghost hunting business!" "Hey don't talk smack about my ghost hunting company! I was a hero! People looked up to me!" Daisy began crying. "I'm sorry but I have to go." Daisy, crying children in hand, went off into her yellow car and sped off. There sat Luigi, forlorn and without much to live for.

 _End Flashback_

"I'm sorry." Daisy shed a tear and wiped them off with a napkin. "It's okay." said Meta Knight from behind the camera. "However, now I'm here, with the past behind me. I'm gonna show these girls who's boss!"

 **Interview with Lucina and Robin**

"I'm Lucina." "And I'm Robin." Lucina put her hand through her hair. "I'm the princess of Ylisse and daughter of Chrom." "We stopped Grima from resurfacing and saved the world!" Lucina looked at Robin with a puzzling look. "Um I don't think…" "That's what happened!" "Anyway, we're excited to be here to once again-" Robin fell asleep on Lucina's shoulder. "Goodnight mommy. Can you tuck me in?" "Uwaa! Robin this is embarrassing!" "Yes Marth. Make me your cum-" Lucina covered Robin's mouth before she could finish that sentence. "Thank you for your time." Lucina smiled nervously.

 **Interview with Inkling girl**

*Incomprehensible woomy noises*

 **Interview with Bayonetta**

"I'm Bayonetta. I hunt angels. Had that one brown haired kid constantly running away from me and hiding behind his mother I would presume. On that topic, why would the Super Smash Bros tournament allow children? Isn't that a safety hazard? Zelda should be glad that I'm her successor. I would make a Hyrule a much better place."

"And those are our contestants! Who will become the next princess of Hyrule? What lengths will these girls go for fame and glory? Find out on Princess Wars!"


	2. Chapter 1: Samus Explores her Sexuality

Princess Peach entered Hyrule castle with pink bags in her hand. "Hello Zelda." "Hello Peach. Good to see you." "Good to see you too. And I just want to say that I don't care about becoming Princess of Hyrule. I'm already princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. Ruling two kingdoms would be such a workload. Also, I'm not from Hyrule and it's out of my jurisdiction. However, I don't think I can say the same about the other girls."

"What do you mean?" "You know how competitive they can get. We're the only two sensible ones out of all them. They will be at each other's throats." "Nonsense, Peach. Sure, Samus can get riled up pretty easily. But we're all friends." "That may be true. But when you put a prize like ruling a kingdom on the line, the lengths someone will go to reach that are high. Speaking of which, why are selling off your position? I thought there was already a successor in place." "I did it for the publicity."

"Why Zelda? You are already royalty." "Actually I was forced into doing it. I had no other choice." "By who?" "By-" Zelda was cut off as Samus entered the castle hall. "Hello Zelda. Hey Peach." "Hello Samus." said Zelda. "Hey Samus." said Peach. "So princess, how does it feel to leave the position and one of us be your successor?" "Well it's certainly unorthodox but you're all my friends so I have no qualms about any of you taking my position. I'm sure you will do fine. Of course, since none of you are from this country, I would have to teach you the traditions, history and economy. Of course you would also need to learn the Hylian language."

"I'm only doing this because I want to be with my friends. I could care less about becoming a princess." said Samus. "That's so considerate of you Samus!" Peach gave her a hug. "Of course. The money doesn't matter."

 **Samus:** That blonde klutz doesn't know that I am in it to win it and will do anything I can to become princess of Hyrule. I just have to keep up an innocent appearance so that they don't suspect anything.

Daisy made her entrance into the hall. "The Princess of Sarasaland is here!" Daisy strutted down the hall to meet the other three. "Hello Daisy." said Peach. "Hey Peach! Hey Zelda! Oh and if it isn't...Samus." Samus raised an eyebrow and glared at her.

 **Daisy:** So a few months back Samus offered to wash my clothes. A little weird but I accepted. I come back to find that my clothes have fuzz balls all over them! It's apparently because she didn't know that the dryer has a lint compartment. Granted she hasn't been on earth for more than 12 years but I still have a grudge against her. Don't even get me started on the first time she discovered alcohol. She got drunk out of her mind, threw up in the toilet and flashed everyone. She even tried to kiss me! Not that I didn't want it...But that's besides the point! We don't get along very well.

"Is there a problem?" Zelda intervened. "No. Not at all. It's all in the past." said Samus. "I hope so." said Zelda. "Anyway, I can't wait to take your spot Zelda. Hyrule needs a new princess!" "Excuse me?" "I mean look at the place. It's in need of some major upgrades. Get rid of the Council of Hyrule. It's all full of saggy old men. Get a water filtration system. People are getting infected. Have a new-" "Alright. I see your point." "Tea anyone?" said Peach. Before anyone could respond, Lucina and Robin came in. Robin was on her phone.

"I want you to be more open. We should go out more. It would be really good for us. What? We're together now so you have to be willing to. Unless...Okay it's a date." "Princess Peach! Zelda! Daisy! Samus! Hey everyone." "Hello Lucina." "Hi Lucina." "Zelda, it is an honor to meet you." "Oh you don't have to say that. We're friends." "Well yes but I think it is proper, unlike my friend." She nodded toward Robin.

"Sorry about that everyone. I was on the phone with Marth." "Oh. Are you two together now?" said Daisy. "Yes we are. We started dating two weeks ago." "Oh young love. I remember when I was first with Link. It was magical." said Zelda. "Haven't you been courting Link for the longest time?" Everyone became silent.

 **Zelda:** What a rude child!

"Okay Robin I think we'll probably be sharing a room together." said Lucina, trying to change the subject. "We'll get to living arrangements later." said Zelda. "I hope I don't have to share a room with you." Daisy said quietly to Samus. "Same here. But that was in the past you know." "I still have a grudge against you. Nothing can change that."

 **Samus:** I really am sorry for what I did to Daisy. I was a different person back then. I just want us to be friends. I do have a plan in mind but it's risky. I should talk to Peach.

"Who are we missing?" said Peach. "Well we're still missing Palutena, Bayonetta, and Rosalina." said Zelda. "Rosalina's coming? Yes! Yes!" Daisy jumped up and down while everyone else stared in confusion. She stopped after she realized what was happening. "Of course, I'm finally excited to see my BFF. Yeah."

 **Lucina:** Something is up with Daisy. I can tell. The way she got excited about Rosalina is odd. Why would someone get so excited over one person. Unless...no that can't be it.

Palutena made her grand entrance. She came down from the sky, lights illuminating her while a harp played in the background. Everyone stared in awe. Samus simply stared with her arms crossed.

 **Samus:** I don't get all the hype surrounding Palutena. That may have to do with the fact that I don't believe in God but she is praised like no other person. And no I am not jealous. It's just that...It's nothing! Nothing at all.

At first she was standoffish but soon Samus started staring as well. She blushed and turned a bright pink. "What am I doing?" she said to herself. However, Samus could deny her feelings no longer. She truly loved Palutena. She loved women. In addition, she would be staying in a castle full of women. If she didn't express her love soon, it would come out one way or another.

Palutena landed on the ground gracefully. "Hello everyone." "Lady Palutena. It is an honor for you to come here." Zelda bowed. "Thank you Zelda. You have done an excellent job at running your kingdom." "Thank you Palutena." "Although I was hesitant to join this program, as soon as I found out my acquaintances would be here, I was eager to arrive." Palutena noticed Samus away from the others.

"Samus." Palutena said. She was instantly put on the spotlight. "Yes Lady Palutena?" "How are you today?" "I'm fine. Thank you for asking." "I notice that you are standing away from your comrades." "Well unlike the rest of them I'm not a princess. So I don't exactly fit in." "That is no excuse for staying away from your friends. You have been through good times and bad with this crowd. Have you not?" Samus paused. She knew exactly what kind of game Palutena was playing. She couldn't lie, however. It would make her look idiotic. So she just went along with it.

"Yes. Yes I have." "Good. All that I ask of you Samus is that you be more open. Don't hide away all the time." "I understand." Peach came up to Samus and said "Well Palutena, Samus isn't the most outgoing of our team. But I don't know what we would be without her. She is a valuable asset to our team. Samus, you mean more to us than you realize." Samus was just ready to give in and confess her love. Hell, Peach was practically begging for it. However, Samus put on her stern face and refused to give in. 'No, not yet.' she thought. It would have to be during a more intimate moment with less people.

"You mean I saved you more times than you've realized. Who was the one that stopped Ganandorf from taking over Hyrule? Who was the one who made peace during our civil war? Who was the one that stopped Galleem, a cosmic entity from space hellbent on destroying our world?" No one dared to respond. Not while this woman was talking. "That's right."

"Samus this isn't what I meant when I said to be more open." said Palutena. "That's the problem with you superpowered beings. You all think you're high and mighty. Until a person who was raised by Chozos and trained in the art of combat is able to stop you." "Samus I-" Palutena was interrupted mid sentence. "If you'll need me I'll be somewhere else." Samus stormed off.

What is it with powers and narcissism? Why do they feel the need to rule over the less powerful. On the one hand, Samus could understand it. She had powers and definitely felt a sense of pride. But she wasn't as powerful as Palutena or Zelda. She wondered if Daisy felt the same way, with her having no significant powers to speak of and living in Peach's shadow. Samus went downstairs into a small room with a bed, desk, lamp and fan. The walls were a velvet red and the roof. It reminded her of a dorm she used to live in while in college but with a higher budget. This was the princess' castle after all. The hallways stretched for miles and the windows were huge. Samus felt the urge to explore but she felt that it wasn't the right thing because this wasn't her house. It felt rude. So she stayed in her room contemplating the confrontation she just had with Palutena.

She felt bad for talking back to her and storming off. Palutena simply told her to be more open because she is always closed off. Samus affirmed Palutena's point by her actions. "Ugh." she laid down on the bed. Palutena didn't deserve that. She would apologize later. Samus' thoughts went elsewhere and she found herself thinking about Peach. She lusted for her and her touch. Samus wanted Peach more than anything else. She also loved Palutena and Zelda. However, a goddess would be too far out of her league so she settled on Zelda. 'Hold up.' Samus thought. 'These are my friends. What is wrong with me?' The feelings were too strong. She couldn't help herself. Today was the day. She would admit her love to these two beautiful women.

Rosalina entered the castle hall. She did not have Luma. "Rosalina!" said Daisy. "Hello everyone. And hello to you Daisy."

 **Daisy:** OMG! She actually knows me! And the only games we've been in together are those crossover sports titles!

"Rosalina, so good to see you." said Zelda. "Same to you said Rosalina." "Rosalina. How does it feel to be the overseer of the cosmos? That must be such a daunting task." said Robin. "Well it certainly is. But I have mystical powers handed down to me that allow me to perform my task with ease."

 **Robin:** Mystical powers, huh? I want to see if Rosalina can give me some of her power. Not a lot. Just a little. I have magic powers of my own.

"Rosalina. Such an honor to meet you. I have heard much about you." said Lucina. "Why thank you, Lucina." she replied. "How have you and your Fire Emblem friends been doing?" "We're doing well. Marth and Ike are off on military duty while Roy is training to become an architect." "Good for him." said Rosalina. "Rosalina." said Palutena. "Lady Palutena," said Roslaina bowing. "How are you on this fine day? "I'm swell. You don't have to be so formal. We know each other well enough." "Yes I know. But it's respectful to do so."

Bayonetta appeared in the room instead of coming through the door. "Bayonetta! Why that's an unorthodox way to enter." said Zelda. "I know but I needed to make my entrance unique." "If that was your goal then you certainly succeeded" said Peach. "I always know how to make the crowd go wild." said Bayonetta.

 **Peach:** Was there a second meaning to that?

"Bayonetta we are glad to have you here." said Zelda. Palutena looked at Bayonetta, disgusted.

 **Palutena:** She embodies everything wrong with this world. She is a witch, an angel hunter! She even scared my baby Pit. The poor boy.

 _Flashback_

Pit was running through the Smash Mansion while Bayonetta chased him. He hid behind Palutena. "Palutena help me! Bayonetta's chasing me!" "What! Bayonetta what's going on!" "What? We were just playing a game." "Well I think that's enough." "Alright then. We're done for now Pit." The lady in leather walked away. "Pit are you okay? Did she hurt you? My little angel!" She smothered Pit and took his face in her chest. "Palutena I'm not - This is a bit much." He tried backing away until he realized her luscious breasts were in his face, full frontal. "Uh nevermind. This is actually good. Ahh…"

 _End Flashback_

 **Palutena:** I will never forgive her.

"Miss Bayonetta? The famed angel hunter?" said Lucina, sparkles in her eyes. "That's me." "You are so awesome. Can I get your autograph?" Lucina handed her a notepad and pen. "Sure sweetheart. Here you go." Bayonetta signed the pen and handed back the pad to her. "Eek! I actually got a celebrity's autograph!"

 **Robin:** I don't get Lucina and her excitement towards Bayonetta. Sure she's cool and all, and I'm not insulting her, but Lucina's on a whole other level. Also there are other celebrities in the castle. Princess Zelda, Peach, Rosalina! Heck, even Samus. I hope none of them see this.

"Okay Bayonetta, you're the last contestant so now we can get started." said Zelda. "Great." The lights went out and the curtains covered the windows. "What's happening?" said Lucina. "Welcome everyone to Princess Wars! I'm your host Meta Knight. The women of Super Smash Bros will be competing to become the next Princess of Hyrule!" "Meta Knight?" said Rosalina. "I didn't know he was going to be the host." "Wait Meta Knight! Samus isn't here!" said Peach. However her voice could not be heard over the speaker Meta Knight was using to amplify his voice and the music. "I have to go find her." she said. Peach ran in search of Samus.

"Our contestants everyone!" The camera panned to each girl as their name was called. "Zelda! Daisy! Rosalina! Palutena! Bayonetta! Lucina! Robin! Samus!" A record scratch sound effect was heard and the camera was turned off. The lights were turned back on. "Okay hold up, hold up! Where is Samus and Peach?" said Meta. "The real question is why are you hosting a TV show starring a bunch of women in your free time?" said Robin. "I decided I needed to branch out more." "Right." said Daisy.

"Meta Knight. I didn't know you were a host 're the type to keep to yourself." said Bayonetta. "Well yes I am. But I want to be more outgoing so that's why I'm doing this. Plus I've always wanted to be a host. It's been a dream of mine ever since I was young."

 **Zelda:** Meta Knight is certainly...something else.

"Now where is Peach and Samus! They are on the show! They're supposed to be here!" said Meta Knight. "Calm down Meta. We'll find them." said Daisy. "Please do so. And quickly! The show can't go on without them." All of the girls left the hall to go find Peach and Samus while Lucina and Robin stayed. "We should explore this castle. Who knows what secrets lay inside?" said Robin. "Robin I don't think we should do that." "Come on! It'll be fun!" Robin left the room running. "Robin wait! Hold up!" Lucina chased after Robin while the rest of the girls searched for the two missing blondes.

Peach walked across the hallway searching for Samus. "Samus? Sammy? Samus? Where are you?" she peeked in every room until she saw a blonde woman with a ponytail in a spandex blue suit. "Samus?" She had found her. Samus' heart was pounding. She was preparing herself for this moment. In a cold sweat and fever high, Samus stood up. "Hello Peach." "Samus? Why are you all alone?" She bit her lip and held her hands. She fought through war. Lived in the deepest parts of space. Why was she nervous now? "Well Peach," Samus closed the door. "I-I" "What is it? "I like you!" Samus blurted out.

Outside the castle, a girl with orange hair and a black outline around her eyes shapeshifted into a squid and slid up the wall. When she came in, she shifted back to her human form. She quickly looked around to make sure no one was there and turned back into a squid. She traveled up the ceiling to continue her investigative work.


	3. Chapter 2: L is for Lesbian

Peach looked at Samus with an expression of horror and confusion. Has Samus always felt this way? If she did, Peach felt admired but also sorry. You see, Peach was not a lesbian nor was she anything like Samus. Samus was too mean and intimidating. Peach could only interact with her in the presence of other people. When she was alone with the formidable bounty hunter, it felt awkward. Maybe this was all going to change when-

"Oh! Samus, I-" She hugged Peach in a tight embrace. Samus nuzzled herself against the princesses' hair. She let go. "Peach I've always loved you. All those times I was mean to you were out of frustration and nervousness that I could not admit my true love to you. But now I have." "Samus. I never knew you felt this way. But…" "But what?" Peach bit her lip and sighed. This was going to be no easy task. "Well you see, I'm not a lesbian." "What? This isn't about that. That has nothing to do with it." "It has everything to do with it. I think it's better if we remain friends. Just friends." Samus looked as if she was about to cry. A rare sight for Peach to witness. Samus never cried. "Please." "I-I don't know. I'm-m sorry." Samus kissed Peach and worked her tongue through her mouth. Peach tried to move away but could not. Samus had her in her grip.

"Well that was certainly...something." Peach blushed. "Have you changed your mind?" "I could use more convincing." Samus kissed Peach again and grabbed her bottom. She threw her onto the bed and the two started making out. From there, it progressed into hot, steamy sex. "Oh my! I-I-I am so sorry!" Samus thought Peach was absolutely adorable when she apologized. It was one of her kinks. Peach covered herself with the bedsheets, despite the fact that she was half naked for the past thirty minutes. "What are you apologizing for?" asked Samus. "We shouldn't have done this. You're my friend. I feel so ashamed." "Babe, you don't have to be ashamed about anything. If you really didn't want to do it you would have stopped yourself earlier." "That is true. Okay I'll admit it. That was really good. I love you Samus." "I love you too."

Hearing Samus say those words warmed Peach's heart. It was rare for her to show emotions of care and love as opposed to anger and annoyance.

 **Peach:** I think getting with Samus is the best thing I've ever done. She is so damn hot. Plus, I've proven that she _does_ have emotions other than hatred. I'm so glad she's my girlfriend.

The two women laid in bed together, Samus' hand over Peach's arm. A wet spot appeared over Peach's womanhood. "I think someone's excited." "Oh! Well of course! Obviously we just got done having sex. Who wouldn't be?" Samus laughed and kissed her cheek. "You are so damn cute."

"Peach! Samus! Where are you?!" yelled Zelda. "Have you had any luck, Bayonetta?" "No. But I'll keep looking. Those two are really good at hiding." "What reason would Samus have to run away?" "Do you not remember her argument with Palutena?" "Of course! That's the reason she went off running. I feel terrible. I have to apologize. This was her first day here and already she has ill feelings toward me." "Don't put yourself down. This wasn't your fault. You had nothing to do with it." "I know but still."

Palutena walked down the hall but, unlike the others, she was not screaming Samus' and Peach's names. She had a specific reason not to. Palutena used her all seeing eye ability to locate them. She found them in a room together at the end of the hallway. What she saw in there nearly made her faint. Samus was in bed with Peach, the bed sheets covering their naked bodies. 'What?!' Palutena wanted to scream out. But she didn't want to alert the others. Palutena knocked on the door.

She pretended to not know what was going on inside. "Hello? Peach? Samus? Are you in there?" Samus and Peach started freaking out. "Ah! They found us! Quickly, get dressed!" "I know! I'm going." "Are you two okay in there?" asked Palutena, completely aware of what just happened in that room. "We're just getting dressed. We were trying on new clothes." said Peach. "Okay. Hurry up. Everyone was worried about you two."

Zelda walked up to Palutena, as did Rosalina, Bayonetta and Daisy. "You found them?" asked Zelda. "Yes. They were in this room." "Peach? Samus? You all had us worried. We were wondering where you two ran off. Come outside so we can talk." The two girls opened the door and came out. They made sure to hide any evidence of making love, including returning the bed to the way it was before. "Hi Zelda." said Samus. "Hello." said Peach. "I would like to know why you ran off, Peach." said Zelda. "I came to check on Samus to make sure she was okay." Zelda looked at Samus. "Samus, I apologize for our argument before. It should not have happened and it won't happen again." said Palutena. "Apology accepted. And I'm sorry for talking back. It won't happen again." "Apology accepted." Daisy glared at Peach. "Peach, you seem a bit flustered. Are you okay?" "I am. I'm okay." "Alright."

 **Daisy:** I'm not convinced. I think Peach is trying to hide something. She doesn't seem completely okay. I have to get to the bottom of this.

"Well now that we're all here, I would like you all to come to the top floor where we will discuss living arrangements." said Zelda. "Wait Zelda. Robin and Lucina aren't here." said Daisy. "Oh now where did those two run off two?" Zelda said exasperated. "Daisy, go find them." "On it." "The rest of you will come with me." With that, Zelda and the girls went to the top floor that had a large window with a view of the castle field. Daisy went to go search for Robin and Lucina, wherever they were.

"Look at this! A book on Hylian language." Robin held up the book. "Ooh." "And look at this! A book on Hylian wildlife." Robin and Lucina were currently in the castle library. Robin walked over to a section much larger than the one she was browsing before. It contained books pertaining to different worlds including those of the Mushroom Kingdom, Kanto, Norfair, Skyworld, and Eagleland, among other locations in the universe. Robin stared in awe at the massive collection.

"Now this is something. There's books on every world in our universe." "Wow. I could be here for hours." Above them, the Inkling girl slivered on the wall. She landed on the floor just behind the two girls. "Hey did you hear something?" "No. "Are you sure? I did." Robin turned and saw nothing. She did however, notice a small pinch of orange paint. "How did paint get here?" she said to herself. "You two! We've been looking all over for you. Come upstairs so we can discuss where you'll be sleeping. Zelda said so." Daisy came running in the library. She was heaving by the time she got there. Robin stared blankly at her. "Alright we'll go. Come on Lucina."

At that moment, the Inkling girl knew her chance was now. There would not be another opportunity. Well there would be. It would just take longer. And the Inkling was not patient. She shot up from the dot of paint that was on the ground. "Woomy!"


End file.
